WHEN four-year-old Lily* gets home from school, the first thing she wants is food.
“I offer fruit, but she wants chocolate, crisps and cheese,” says her mum Claire, 27, from Ashford, Kent.
“If she can, she eats non-stop until dinner.
“Then she’ll polish off a big portion of fish pie or pasta and sausages.”
Lily weighs 2st 11lb – 9lb more than the average girl her age.
According to NHS guidelines, she’s technically obese.
Worryingly, Lily is far from unique.
A new report by the Academy for Medical Sciences claims that a fifth of under-fives in Britain are overweight or obese.
And by the time they reach Year 6 at school, 22.7% of kids are obese.**
Claire, a hairdresser and single mum of one, says Lily was born big, weighing 9lb 7oz, and has continued on that trajectory ever since.
“Not everything she eats is junk.
“She has a healthy breakfast, such as porridge usually with fruit, but then wants toast afterwards.
“At home, she’ll have sandwiches and soup for lunch, but it never fills her up.
“School dinners don’t help – they’re often pizza, burgers and chips or sausage rolls, always with a pudding.
“I would give her a packed lunch, but her dinners are free and, like everyone, I’m struggling to pay the bills.
“Lily is active and spends a lot of time bouncing on the trampoline in our garden.
“I do think she tires more easily than her friends, because of her size, but I get her moving as much as I can.”
Lily started school in September last year and a few weeks later, she was weighed as part of the National Child Measurement Programme.
‘I FEEL GUILTY’
Claire was sent a letter saying her daughter was overweight.
“I felt guilty, as if I was feeding her up,” she says. “I worry that people judge me because of it, but it’s very hard to say no to a child who’s complaining they’re hungry and to feel you are depriving them.
“I see other children having snacks and cake all the time, so Lily’s diet is not out of the ordinary – but she’s noticeably the biggest child in her class,” says Claire.
“I feel like taking treats away completely would only make it worse, so I try not to have too much junk in the house and buy things that are lower in calories, like mini rolls rather than chocolate bars.
“I do say no sometimes, though that can cause a meltdown. It’s so hard trying to find the right balance.”
Claire herself is a size 16 – the average UK dress size – but was always overweight as a child.
“I think Lily’s appetite and weight are definitely influenced by genes – she’s just like I was as a child.
“I hope as she grows up she’ll naturally slim down a bit, like I did.
“I’ve spent my life on one diet or another and I don’t want the same for her.
“She is still oblivious about her size, but I know that will change, and the thought of her feeling self-conscious or developing an eating disorder breaks my heart.”
Dr Aishah Iqbal is a weight-loss expert and says a contributing factor is that many children are less active than they used to be.
“This is not only because we have seen a rise in indoor activities like gaming, sparked partly by the pandemic, but also there has been a significant decline in the number of outdoor play parks in recent years.
“Spending on these facilities fell by 44% from 2017/18 to 2020/21,” she explains.
POOR-QUALITY FOOD
According to the World Health Organisation, kids living in the most deprived areas are twice as likely to be overweight as those in the least deprived – something Dr Iqbal has seen first-hand.
“Financial poverty is playing a role, with poor-quality food available and sports and clubs less accessible,” she says.
“With the cost of living crisis, those who are suffering the most due to increased food prices are the very people at increased risk of childhood obesity.”
And it doesn’t just affect self-esteem. “Childhood obesity has been linked to a number of conditions, including high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, sleep apnoea and asthma.
“There is a huge psychological element, too, such as anxiety, depression and a higher risk of being bullied.
“And it’s associated with chronic health issues as children move into adulthood, including cardiovascular disease.”
Sally’s* six-year-old daughter Martha* is picked on because of her weight.
She weighs 4st 6lb – 1st 2lb more than the average girl her age – and wears clothes for eight to nine year olds.
With the cost of living crisis, those who are suffering the most due to increased food prices are the very people at increased risk of childhood obesity.
“She is never invited to parties and lots of kids call her names like ‘Gigantor’,” says Sally, a stay-at-home mum from Manchester.
“They’ll joke about her living up a beanstalk. She’ll often come home from school upset, asking me why she is so big.
“Ever since she was a toddler, Martha has been fussy about food. It was tough to get her to eat anything.
“I tried to be relaxed and gave her the foods she wanted, while encouraging her to try new ones. I thought she’d grow out of it.
“Now, her diet isn’t the best.
“She loves white bread and will only eat cornflakes for breakfast.
“I can’t send her to school on an empty stomach, so I let her have them.
“She has a packed lunch with white-bread sandwiches and crisps.
“She’ll eat some fruit, but she won’t touch vegetables,” says Sally, who also has two children aged nine and 12, who eat healthily and are not overweight.
“I try giving Martha new foods all the time, but they end up in the bin, so I have to give her what she wants, which is often pizza and chips or pasta with second helpings.
“Sometimes I refuse, which can trigger a meltdown.”
Sally, who is a size 12, says her daughter is active but that it hasn’t helped.
FOOD MELTDOWNS
“She goes dancing and swimming and we often go on long walks. It hasn’t made a difference.
“Of course, I worry about how best to handle the situation, but she’s only six.
“How can I even think about talking to her about diets and counting calories?
“I feel a lot of shame as a parent.
“People will make jokey comments like: ‘What are you feeding her?’ which is upsetting, but I don’t want her to obsess over her weight, so I try to be relaxed about what she eats.
“I just hope her diet will improve as she gets older.”
Clinical child psychologist Dr Melanie Smart says children who grow up overweight can suffer with mental health issues well into adulthood.
“As children, they are more likely to be ostracised by their peers,” she says.
“This often means a child doesn’t value themselves and they grow up with poor self-esteem.
“This can lead to emotional problems such as anger, anxiety and low mood, withdrawing or engaging in risk-taking behaviour.
“Very overweight children often stay at home more, are not socialising or attending activities or clubs and are generally inactive.
“Their academic performance may be affected, too.”
Even if they lose weight, often this does not address the psychological issues.
“People carry it with them,” Dr Smart adds. “The expectation can be that losing weight fixes things, but it’s not always the ‘cure’ people expect.
“It can be doubly devastating to look how you want to on the outside, but still struggle on the inside with many of the difficulties that took root in childhood.”
CHILDHOOD ISSUES
This is something that resonates with Mel Ciavucco, 41, who was only eight years old when she tried SlimFast for the first time.
“A nurse weighed me and said my BMI was too high,” says Mel, who grew up in a food-loving Italian family in the West Midlands.
“I was already dancing and doing exercise and couldn’t see how I could do anything else, and started to feel shame about my body.
“A lot of the women in my life were constantly on diets and having SlimFast, so I thought that was the norm.
“I’d sneak it without my mum knowing. I didn’t do it for very long, though – it didn’t make any difference.
“The often-well-meaning comments about my ‘puppy fat’ continued. I was always the last kid picked at PE – no one wanted the fat kid on their team.
“When children said something, I could pass it off, but it was harder when it came from adults – the nurse at school, friends of my parents, dinner ladies…”
By 12, Mel was riddled with anxiety over food.
I tried making myself vomit instead, but I couldn’t keep doing that, and I still didn’t lose weight
“She analysed the fat content in everything and felt guilty about anything she ate.
“I would throw away food from my packed lunch at school,” she says.
“Unaware, my mum would praise me for making a healthier choice, such as an apple, which only fuelled me further.
“A few times, I tried not eating at all, but I just felt so ill afterwards, I wasn’t able to carry on.
“I tried making myself vomit instead, but I couldn’t keep doing that, and I still didn’t lose weight.
“The disordered eating for me was mainly around the guilt and shame I felt after having a big meal. I hated myself if I just ate a biscuit.”
From 19 until she went travelling at 25, Mel went to the gym most days, compensating for eating by obsessively working out.
“I worked long hours in the hospitality industry, but I’d make myself go to the gym before work. I was really overdoing it,” she says.
In 2012, she went travelling, spending four months in India, where she gave up alcohol and smoking and started meditating.
“I fell ill with food poisoning and finally had a realisation that I’d never be thin.
“I decided to stop trying to lose weight and focus on being kinder to myself. It was the start of my recovery,” she says.
BODY ISSUES
After returning to the UK, Mel had therapy and now works as a counsellor helping others with body issues.
“I don’t deny I’m still in a larger body, but I wear what I want, I exercise, I eat a variety of foods, I go cold-water swimming.
“And I don’t weigh myself,” she says.
“It took me years to work through the issues I developed.
“I just want to say to children now: ‘You are fine as you are. Your body size shouldn’t hold you back.’”
According to Dr Smart, we must teach children like Lily and Martha to value themselves on more than how much they weigh.
“Of course, parents should encourage weight loss by promoting healthy eating and trying to get out and about more,” she says.
“But it’s also about encouraging children to think about their bodies in a way that isn’t about whether they look good or not.
“We have to teach them that their body is their vehicle for life and how to keep it healthy.
“We should also be focusing on academic performance, achievements in other areas and personality, which can all help boost a child’s self-worth.”
- Visit Melciavucco.com
Source: **Obesity Facts